James Shapiro's Jewish Pick-up Lines: 1) Do you wanna see my haftorah portion? 2) I got a trust fund for my bar mitzvah; what'd you get? 3) Do you want to spin my dreidle? 4) Your father must have been a rabbi because he stole the vowels from the Torah and put them in your eyes. 5) What's a nice Jew like you doing eating scrapple like this? (Note: can only be used when the person in question is eating scrapple). 6) That's a nice-looking yarmulke you're wearing, but it would look even better lying next to my bed tomorrow morning. 7) Can I put my Torah in your ark? 8) Is that a mezuzzah in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? 9) Can I part your red sea? 10) I've got ten commandments you can follow... 11) Going out with me is like having Chanukah all year long. 12) Want to wander through my desert? 13) I've got Ramses in my wallet that wants to put you back in slavery. (for those of you who don't know, Ramses is a condom!) 14) I've got six pieces of gelt and a grogger in my pocket. 15) Nice talis. Want to fuck? 16) Why don't you slide your matzoh balls o'er here next to my gefilte fish? 17) Why should we recline tonight instead of on all other nights? Cause I'm holy, baby. Real holy. 18) Some guys use whip cream. I'm a potato latke man myself. 19) Why is this night different than all other nights? I'll show you why... 20) Hiding that matzoh is only half the fun.