A group went on a holiday ski trip to Colorado. The conditions were perfect -
 12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over, and a "tell me when
 we're having fun" kind of day.

 One of the women in the group complained to her boyfriend that she was in dire
 need of a restroom. He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was
 relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for female
 skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away.

 If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a
 temperature of 12 below zero doesn't help matters. So, with time running out,
 the woman weighed her options. Her boyfriend, picking up on the intensity of
 the pain, suggested that since she was wearing an all white ski outfit, she
 should go off into the woods. "No one would even notice," he assured her. The
 white would provide more than adequate camouflage. So she headed for the tree
 line, began disrobing and proceeded to do her thing.

 If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is a right
 way and a wrong way to "set" your skies so you don't move. Yup, you got it.
 She had them positioned wrong. Steep slopes are not forgiving, even during
 embarrassing moments. Without warning, the woman found herself skiing
 backward, out of control, racing through the trees, somehow missing all of
 them, and onto another slope. Her derriere and the reverse side were still
 bare, her pants down around her knees, and she was picking up speed all the
 while. She continued on backward, totally out of control, creating an unusual
 vista for other skiers.

 The woman skied, if you define the term loosely, back under the lift, and
 finally collided violently with a pylon. The bad news was that she broke her
 arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants. At long last her boyfriend
 arrived, put an end to her embarrassment, then went to the base of the
 mountain and summoned the ski patrol. They transported her to the hospital.

 In the Emergency Room, she was regrouping when a man with an obviously broken
 leg was put in the bed next to hers. "So, how'd you break your leg?" she
 asked, making small talk.

 "It was the darndest thing you ever saw," he said. "I was riding up the ski
 lift, and suddenly I couldn't believe my eyes. There was this crazy woman
 skiing backward out of control down the mountain with her bare bottom hanging
 out of her clothes and her pants down around her knees. I leaned over to get a
 better look and I guess I didn't realize how far I'd moved. I fell out of the
 ski lift! So, how'd you break your arm?"