What do you call a Mexican vasectomy? A dry Martinez. What's 6 miles long and goes 4 miles an hour? A Mexican funeral procession with one set of jumper cables. Why do Mexicans have noses? For something to pick in the winter time. What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Italian? A guy who makes an offer you can't understand. Why did they cancel drivers ed in Mexico? The donkey died. What did the Mexican do with his first 50 cent piece? He married her. Why do Mexican women wear long skirts? To hide the no pest strips. Why do Mexican cars have such small steering wheels? To drive with handcuffs on. Why do Mexicans eat refried beans? Ever see a Mexican that didn't fuck things up the first time? How many Mexicans does it take to grease a car? Just one if you hit him right. What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus? I don't know but it sure can pick lettuce. Why are scientists breeding Mexicans instead of rats for experiments? They multiply faster and you don't get as attached to them. What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a Vietnamese? A car thief that can't drive. Did you hear about the two Mexicans on "That's Incredible"? One had auto insurance and the other was an only child. How come the Mexican army only use 600 soldiers at the Alamo? They only had two cars. Why do Mexicans eat beans? So they can have a bubble bath. How do you know that Superman isn't Mexican? Because he would steal wheels off air planes if he was. Why do Mexicans have low riders? So they can drive and pick up bottles and cans at the same time. Why do most Mexican men have mustaches? Because they want to look like their mothers. What do you call a pretty Mexican girl? Lucky. How can you tell a Mexican airline? It's the one with hair under the wings. How do you fit 100 mexicans in a phone booth? Throw in a food stamp. How do you get them out? Throw in a bar of soap. What do you call a taco with a food stamp inside it? A Mexican fortune cookie. Who's the best man at a Mexican wedding? The guy with the jumper cables.