What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. If a light sleeper sleeps with a light on, what does a hard sleeper sleep with? What is the difference between Olympic swimmers, and Olympic divers? Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows. What does Popeye do to keep his favorite tool from rusting? Sticks it in Olive Oyl. What has three teeth and sixty feet? The front row at a Willy Nelson concert. What did the lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? They're right! We do taste like chicken! What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration. What is the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken. What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung. What is the difference between O.J. and the Lion King? One is a "lyin" African the other is an African lion. What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? You can't hear an enzyme. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Men will screw anything. What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with. The other is used to carry groceries. What did the blonde say when asked if she had been picked up by the fuzz? No. But I have been swung around by the tits. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms? For traction in the mud. Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman. Did you know that in this country alone there are over 1/2 million battered women? Just think... All this time you've been eating them plain.