When met by a long procession of people led by a man with a dog, Joe asked the
man, "Who died?"
"My Mother in law."
"How?"
"The dog bit her."
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."

*******************************************************************************

A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like
your mother-in-law better than I like mine."

*******************************************************************************

WIFE: The 2 things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie.
HUSBAND: Which is this?

*******************************************************************************

NEWLY WED : Do you want dinner?
SPOUSE    : Sure, what are my choices?
NEWLY WED : Yes and no.