49 Politically Correct Ways to Say Someone is Stupid

Not the brightest candle on the cake
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
A few clowns short of a circus
A few fries short of a Happy Meal
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity
A few beers short of a six-pack
Dumber than a box of hair
A few peas short of a casserole
Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl
One taco short of a combination plate
A few feathers short of a whole duck
All foam, no beer
The cheese slid off his cracker
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools
As smart as bait
Chimney's clogged
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash
Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor
Forgot to pay his brain bill
Her sewing machine's out of thread
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels
His belt doesn't go through all the loops
If he had another brain, it would be lonely
Missing a few buttons on his remote control
No grain in the silo
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse
Receiver is off the hook
Several nuts short of a full pouch
Skylight leaks a little
Slinky's kinked
Surfing in Nebraska
Too much yardage between the goal posts
A couple sandwiches short of a picnic
Flipped her pizza
Room temperature I.Q.
L.M.C. (low marble count)
Takes an hour and a half to watch 60-minutes
Killed the toy poodle trying to put batteries in it
O.T.L. (out to lunch)
Dumber than a box of rocks
Intellectually bankrupt