What would driving to the grocery store be like if operating systems ran your
car?

MS-DOS:
You get in your car and scratch your head, trying to remember how it all works
and quickly resign yourself to the fact that you're going to have to use the
old dog eared operator's manual, which you spread out across the front seat;
you go over the text with a high-lighter...  Eventually you get the car
started, but then you're confronted with having to keep one eye on the manual
and one eye on the road all the way to the store.  When you get back you're
hesitant to get out of the car 'cause you don't wanna have to go through the
whole darned mess all over again...  You consider leaving the car running 'til
the next time you need it but decide you don't want to wear out the engine, so
you turn it off anyway.

Windows:
You get in the car and after fiddling around for a while it starts right up,
but then the car takes you to a filling station, a day care center, and a tent
revival meeting in Southern California before finally heading to the store; the
journey is even more arduous because attached to the back of your car is a
train made of sixteen cabooses.

Mac System 7:
You get in the car and go to the store with considerable elegance and ease, but
on the way back your car runs out of gas, and you have to coast off the road
and into a ditch filled with mud; you curse yourself for not having borrowed
the money to get a big enough gas tank to get you where you wanted to go in the
first place!

Unix:
You get in the car and simply enter "grep store", then hit the "Return" button
on your gear shift lever.  After reaching speeds of over seven thousand miles
per hour, you arrive at a barber shop in Venice.

Windows NT:
You get in the car and write a ten page letter that describes your proposed
journey to the grocery store, then you get back out of the car and reach in
through the exhaust pipe to mail the letter to your dashboard.

Taligent/Pink:
You walk to the store with Ricardo Montalban, who tells you how wonderful it
will be when he can fly you to the store in his Lear jet.

OS/2:
After fueling up with three thousand gallons of gas from your own personal
storage tank, you get in the car and head to the store, accompanied by an
escort of twenty motorcycles and a fifty piece marching band.  Half way to the
store, however, the car blows up and an enormous firestorm ensues, burning down
every building in town, including the grocery store.

Mainframe:
You get in the car and head to the store, weaving in and out of bumper to
bumper traffic, but nine-tenths of the way there your brakes lock up and the
engine stalls.  Twenty minutes later, the traffic still hasn't let up and your
brake drums are still smoking, so you make your way to the shoulder, thinking
you'll walk the rest of the way... when suddenly you're run over by a gang of
green and pink haired, leather-clad punk rockers on Mopeds!